Welcome To Surviving With Panache!
Lessons in survival for inspiration and hope in an unsteady world. We have lived through every hard day so far! Carpe' diem! 🌻🌻🌻
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<Chapter 9 | Table of Contents | Chapter 11, part 1
I was making new friends, one girl moved into the row of condos across from our carport.. Her name was Jodina. Blond hair, blue eyed, easy smile. Ready to be friends and play!
Instant soul mates. We loved to roller skate, play tennis, swim, and ride bikes. Which we did, literally all day long. When the sun started to set , I was always asking mother if Jodina could spend the night. 99% of the time, the answer was yes. Then Jo and I would watch television, play games, do puzzles and listen to my Osmond Brother records. She was like the female version of Vincent. We had each other’s back and not one quarrel between us.
That summer, she spent 5 nights out of 7 with us. Week in and week out. My mother was happy that I was occupied. Her mother was happy Jo was with us, because there were 4 adults in their two-bedroom condo-which was owned by Jodina's grandma. There was the grandma, Jo's mom , Jo's aunt Corky and her boyfriend then young Jo, all in that condo. It was a two-story unit with two bathrooms which helped marginally, but that's why Jo was with us most of the time. I was very glad to have the company and such a close friend. I think intuitively Jo and I knew that we needed one another.
We unknowingly had rough starts in life and our association was easy, a wonderful respite from reality. I still thank God for Jodina.
We went to summer school in the mornings at Valle Lindo Elementary where we were both registered for the school year come September. Mother was working full time, but Jodina’s grandma agreed to be “responsible” for me in the afternoons that summer until she came home, usually around 5:30.
While dropping my things at my house one afternoon, before rendezvousing with Jo, I found the kitchen door already unlocked. As I cautiously opened the door, I found mother and Bruce seated at the kitchen table. Mother was sitting in his lap! They were all smiles as mother said, “Surprise! Look who’s here!”
Heart pounding, body frozen, all I could do was stare at them. I stayed close to the door. Clinging to my sweater and notebook, somehow a voice resembling my own squeaked, “hello”.
Mother, never distracted from her own feelings, told me to get cleaned up because we were going to a late lunch, early dinner in the valley at some snazzy restaurant. After washing up and changing clothes, I ran out to let Jodina know what was up. Sensing my discomfort, she hugged me and said to call her later. I cannot remember the restaurant’s name, try as I might. It was a surreal and uncomfortable afternoon meal to say the least. What was I feeling? I was afraid and happy simultaneously. No, I was NOT happy. I was hungry and knew that dinner would be good and that I wouldn’t have to do the dishes afterwards. But, just what would I be doing after dinner? Apprehensive and quiet throughout the meal as well as the drive back home, I could not speak. Bruce pulled into the carport without getting out of the car and dropped us off. I got out as quickly as I could. Mother stayed behind briefly and they exchanged, something…
He didn’t stay. For whatever reason, he didn’t stay!
Mother asked me after he had gone if I was happy to see “daddy” and did I want him to come over again?
My response caught us both off guard.
Bursting into angry tears, I yelled,
“NO! How could you have let him know where we live? How could you bring him to our house?! You said that it was a SECRET! I am going to Jodina’s, now!”
I then ran from our door to Jo’s.
It was the first time that 7-year-old me recognized what I would later understand as BETRAYAL, by my mother. I didn’t understand why I was so mad as I ran to the comfort of Jodina’s presence, but I was livid and shaking. Jodina instinctively asked her mom if I could spend the night with her, there. It was an unusual request. Surprisingly, her mom said that it would be ok this once. Corky and the Boyfriend were out of town. So, I did stay.
Mother really had no choice but to agree. The ferocity of my emotions aimed at her was a new experience.
Melanie, Children really do understand on a gut level when something is wrong. By the time you were 7 you definitely knew what your mother was doing was very wrong. As children we are at the mercy of the adults who are supposed to love and protect us. That you felt totally betrayed by your mother is absolutely understandable. Sometimes it takes a while for us to figure out what is going wrong, but you were smart enough at 7 to figure that out. I think careless adults are the worst people to have children because the devastation isn't isolated to themselves, they often destroy the children who have no place to turn. I'm sorry that your mother didn't recognize what she was doing to not only herself, but also to you. You are a remarkable soul and I'm so glad you found a way out of that destructive pattern.
Wow! This was brief but there was just enough narrative to grip me just the same. After reading the last post, I agree with the main character. Yall did all that stealth, CIA- level escaping and now she lets him back into your new, supposedly safe home? Smh.